A Ramble to Rationalize . . . Or Not


Chapter 1


I said I was okay
I said it was fine
because that's what he wanted
and who am I to whine?

I only knew him for a little over a month
but god did I think it would have been more
because we connected so well
and talking to him seemed to ease my war.

But I guess I was wrong
because a few weeks ago I wasn't enough
since he thought I was getting attached
which would end in pain- but maybe that's a bluff.

Because if I wasn't enough
then why would he have talked to me in the first place?
and why would it have taken a month
for him to ask for permanent space?

That's what my logic says
and it continues with that maybe he was scared
because he did just go through a break up
and probably didn't want to end up again paired.

The problem is- is that I didn't think anything would happen
all I wanted was to develop some sort of connection
since that's what life is
which doesn't need any sort of correction.

So here is the part where I become irrational
because I can't understand that
and I won't- because if you think you could care about someone
then you go for it- because living in fear is living in combat.

So maybe I wasn't enough
it wouldn't have been the first time
or maybe- maybe it was just a game
since that's all fun- and not a crime.

Between the two- I don't know which is worse
and at the moment- all I know is that I feel like crap
but I said I was okay; I said it was fine
because that's what he wanted- so maybe it's my turn to just snap.


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