Random Writing

Everyday is just like the last. I get up. I brush my teeth. I jump in the shower. I brush my hair and use a little (more like the enter bottle) of styling mousse to tame my insane curls. I make my coffee and stare out the window wondering what the hell could be out there for someone as painfully average as me.

Well, there are two types of days. There's the days that I make an effort and I put on my makeup and I smile at myself in the mirror thinking I'm beautiful. I think to myself, I don't need anyone else but myself and my two best friends. I think there is such possibility and that one day I am going to be so happy and so successful and so damn inspiring. Beautiful. I stare out the window at the tall, graceful trees that cover my backyard. Peacefulness in the early morning.

But then there's the days that I can barely drag myself out of bed. I can't even bring myself to look at my own reflection. I feel like no one could ever love me, so I guess I'll stay with him. It makes me miserable, but how could I bring myself to do anything else? Worthless, unhappy, nowhere near to beautiful. Unlikely. Ugly. Destined for despair and failure. I stare out the window and see blackness, nothing. Is it even worth it?

The day comes to an end. I climb into bed. Which side of myself will wake me tomorrow? I will not know until tomorrow comes.