This isn't for attention.
This isn't a plea.
It's just a place for me to vent my feelings and emotions.
Because I actually have no one to vent to anymore.
No one to talk to
Everyone frowns down upon me
So, I don't care if you read this or not, I don't care about anything anymore.
I only care about getting A's to please my parents, I hardly care about that anyway.
And also, don't have a go at me if I don't use grammar, there's no point in putting effort to do that.
I don't understand.
i don't get how one simple thing can get me so worked up that my eyes just let the tears flow for hours on end every night.
people at school ask me why i'm tired or why i look so tired.
i just say that i was on the computer or i was watching movies.
lie lie lie lie lie did i mention lie?
it's weird because no one double checks with me to see if i am actually lying or i'm being serious. they always give me looks as to say "are you sure" but never actually ask that question that could've prevented me from making this 'vent book' anyways.
i don't understand how one minute, i'm completely happy and then one gosh damn thing comes into my mind, penetrating my thoughts and ruining my whole day. it's like it's an automatic 'thing' that happens everyday in either first or second lunch. i know what triggers it, but i don't even want to convince myself that that's the problem. i've come to the conclusion that i'm the problem.
i'm my own problem and i need to solve the problem like one big math equation. it's weird that i compare myself to a math equation because i'm hardly acing math right now.
i don't understand how one minute, i'm feeling absolutely positively amazing and then like a blink of an eye, i could cry.
now, i'm not bipolar, not even close, so don't even begin to ask about that.
i guess one of my peers [and i say peers, not friends/enemies/class mates, because i don't even know anymore] was right, maybe i could be kidding myself.
or maybe i just don't understand. isn't that ok?