My Immortal With My Commentary

My Immortal, dubbed by many as the worst fan fic ever.
I decided to delve into this magical world of the write, expecting a Harry Potter fan fic.
What I got, was worse...

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)Special Calculators (get it, cuz I'm a nerd) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. They did a bad job.U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!


Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way Isnt dementia an illness or something?and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) Because you totally have enough hair to tell when you are bornwith purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-backTen buck you dyed it and icy blue eyes like limpid tearsAka clear eyes lol and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!)Nooo problem. I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major beep hottie.But then you'd complain about how annoying he is as a brother/cousin or something I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.I thought this was a Harry Potter fan fic, not Twilight I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch,A witch and a vampire? and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). You sure? I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. Because screw the uniformI was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! Anyone else notice the strange similarities to this and Lovestruck?

“What’s up Draco?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.Draco is not shy. He'd be saying nothing like a boss

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.Well then.


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