Anybody else do this?

Chapter 1

Dramatic acting/dramatizing ( something I'm VERY good at )

I'm not afraid to say, that I dramatize practically everything. Either I make it worse than it already is in the most dramatic way possible or I'm acting out so good I should be in Hollywood. Heck I was even dramatic when I was 5!!!

Ok so, this is when I was 5, my aunts family had taken me to go get their Christmas tree for the winter. Living in PA, the roads are almost ALWAYS icy in winter, and frankly, its ridiculous. Anyway so we had this big-*ss tree on top of the caravan and I was riding in the back holding the ropes that held the tree to the roof of the caravan. My Aunt is TERRIFIED of icy roads ( I have no idea why she's still in PA, beats me) and we were going down this really windy mountain that looks like a mountain that you would see in a cartoon ( with the road getting smaller around the mtn till the top were the house/destination is, seriously) SO WHEN WE SKID * starts laughing hysterically * she was all like " Ok, ok everyone call down. Calm down" In reality none of us were panicking at all and she was the one that needed to "calm down". But then we skid again, and boy did we really skid, we almost slid off the road and over the mountain side. My Aunts all like " EVERYONE STAY CALM" she's huffing and puffing like theirs no tomorrow. I'm in the back of the caravan holding onto the ropes of the tree for dear life and I'm all like " WE'RE ALL GUNNA DIE!!!" This makes my aunt REALLY panic, who screams. Which alerts my uncle ( driver) who grunts and does this manly-screaming sound, which alerts both my cousin's at the same time and THEY start screaming.

* bows * I was good at pressing that panic button when I was 5....

Nowadays I am WAYYYYYY more dramatic, like WAY. WAY. WAY. WAY. WAY. WAY. like... seriously man...
I am very popular with small children, because I can entertain them very easily and I am a 3 year old at heart. Quoted from my gram - " Little kids are like dogs, some people can train dogs, and some people can train dogs. Its either you got it or you don't"
I got it.
What does this have to do with dramatizing? Almost everything. Just recently I was at my church ( kill me), I was swarmed with children almost the minute I walked through the door. It was snack day and unfornunitly I was too busy being dramatic to eat even A PRETZEL. A. PRET-ZEL :'( It was tragic.
ANYWAY, so there was a table, loaded with balloons and 4 pumps to make balloons and balloon animals. I love balloon animals ( seriously, if you make me a balloon poodle I will adore you )
Here's some backround info on my church that you need to know to understand the rest of this:
- 1. The elder HATE me
- 2. The deacons HATE me
- 3. There is one lady in particular that would love to take my guts out
- 4. There is one old guy in particular that would love to take my guts out

TA-DA!!! I present, my church...

SO, ANYWAY all the other peeps out there are eating at the tables and stuff. I'm still swarmed with children so I'm practically forced to go to the balloon table. Everyone's seated, their jabbering on about who's more holy and all that crap. I start working on a balloon sword for this little guy named Drew ( Warning: He is adorable, and will use it against you. Trust me ) I don't know if they were praying or something, but when that balloon POPPED it was all like " Whooaaaa, duuuudddeeee " ( No they didn't say that, their not cool like that ) but their reaction screamed it. So EVERYONE is staring at me, my parents are giving me that look that's a cross between " Oh my god this is hilarious" and " I'm gunna kick your stupid &ss the second we get out of this church ". ALL EYES ARE ON ME. Guess what I do.
I improvise
I look down at Drew, look down at the deflated balloon in my hand I'm like " OHHH, HE GOT ME. OHHHHHhhhhh" And start trying to grab my heart like I was shot, I get a little tipsy and start falling over my own feet. Going all around like a drunk person. Eventually I slam my shoulder into a wall and I'm like " OHHHHhhh... PLEASE... Go on.... with... with out me...." I go completely limp and don't move for what seemed like 3 minutes. Drew comes over and pokes me in the shoulder with a plastic mini golf club. And what do I hear?
The elders have started to CLAP, they are APPLAUDING MY DEATH. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Me I'm thinking " What the f**k guys? I knew you hated me but REALLY?!?!"
So I get back up from the ground and spread my arms out like a I'm trying to either fly or recreate a Titanic scene being like " ITS ALL GOOD, I'M FINE, I'M FINE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, THANKS A BUNCH GUYS"

You can see they love me so much

But that wasn't even the main part of it. Remember, I am swarmed with children and now they all have balloon swords. So they start attacking me...

My god I must've "died" about 37 times, I would've died a lot more but I had my own balloon sword to keep them at bay. But my god, I should be put in Hollywood! I had the most dramatic deaths possible, I did a bunch of cartoon deaths too. Here's a small review of a few of the deaths I did. Cause and effect style.

Cause- Little girl comes up to me and "cuts my throat". Effect - CARTOON DEATH TIME!! So I instantly have my hand go to my throat, my tongue hanging out like I'm choking. I'm spinning around on my one foot with my other leg out trying to stabilize. I fly down to the ground and land on my knees, still pretending to be dying and choking. As I'm going down, I flip over on my back, lifting my arm up and saying "Good bye cruel world" * goes limp with tongue hanging out*

Cause - Little boy comes up to me and cuts open my chest. Effect - I reach out in dramatic fashion grabbing at something that isn't even there while holding part of my chest were he cut. Falls face first into the floor ( It was PAINFUL, like, Owww )

Cause - Multiple children are attacking me from all sides cutting throat, chest, back, back of the knees, feet, etc. Effect - Falls on knees, my arms limp, twisting my head slowly like its sliding off. shoots shoulder forward which launches arm toward child, who jumps back laughing. Falls heavily on shoulder while children start jumping on me.

Cause - SOMEHOW this little boy made a GUN balloon, I don't know how but he did, starts shooting me. Effect - jerks back everytime he shoots like I'm really being shot, slams into the wall and slides down while attempting to stay up. Clutches heart and dies.

So here comes the question

Anybody else do this?

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