15 Things I Almost Said To You But Never Quite Did

Chapter 1


You always said your mother would have hated me,
Because she didn't like anyone different, and I had the eyes of a painter
And the soul of a philosopher.
And yeah, she probably would have,
But then we'd have had a mutual hatred,
And I think I would have liked your mum in the endup.

It's been over a month, and I'm sorry to say it,
But even though you claim to be right beside me,
I still miss you like a fúcking limb.

I didn't realise just how much my bones could ache
Until I met you.

A week before we broke up
(The first time),
I had bought a book filled to the brim with the philosophies of Aristoclea.
I never told you because I could invision you telling me to read something more interesting,
And I felt my insides splinter.

You've always loved poetry, but claimed it to be lies dressed up to sound pretty.
When I look at you nowadays,
I feel the urge to ask you if sadness sounds pretty to you, too.

It's only just gone one a.m.,
But already everything tastes like you.

Sometimes I catch you staring at me from a distance.
When I smile, you don't smile back, and
That kills me.

There is a girl who sits beside me in art class.
She smells the same way you do,
And it is torture.

It's completely illogical, as you haven't gone anywhere,
But I miss you.

I have never had so many bad nights.

Sometimes I write poetry about you on the internet.
Strangers who have never met either of us tell me that I deserve better.
You never once realised who I was writing about,
And I am not inclined to tell you.

They think it is beautiful, how I am broken.
I don't think they understand.

You tell me that I am beautiful.
I tried to say it in the mirror this morning,
But it sounded wrong without your mouth wrapped around the syllables.

Nothing that comes out of my mouth sounds right without your mouth wrapped around it.

You don't think this is about you,
But it is very much based around your essence.


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