A Squaredancing Log of the Clueless Freshman

Welcome to Freshman year, the Square-dancing unit, where if your the girl, you're going to get thrown everywhere. And if you're the guy, well, you're doing the throwing.

Chapter 1

Day 1, and I have been DROPPED

Welcome to the reaccounting of my first day squaredancing, this unit goes on for 5 days. But it my case it goes on for 10 since I have gym every single day, not complaining, but don't appreciate all the bad luck guys like come on.

The first day I was dropped.

I'll explain what this 'dropped' means later, but for now you need to know a few things to get all this.

Every single day I have gym, but they're both at different times. At my school you have day one and day two. On day one I have gym period one, and on day two I have gym period seven. With that being so I'm going to have two different partners.

My day one period one tragedy - One of the seniors in my German class told me to reserve my partner so when the square-dancing unit started you knew who you were going with, and before the semester was over, I did. His name was Caleb and he was a junior that I had played Disc Golf against who was really nice, and kind of looked like my 7th grade language arts teacher. But when the semester switched, he got his new schedule, and his schedule was moved. So there goes my first partner! My next option was one of my friends, Dom, who wasn't even in my class but I was going to see if he could come in just for the heck of it. Nope, his teacher wouldn't let him go. Second partner? Terminated. Now literally the week before the unit was supposed to start, and I was talking to my friend Jacob, and we both agreed that if nobody asked we would be each other's backup.

Guess who got asked.


Well, he wasn't really asked but his best friend doesn't trust his girlfriend to dance with anyone else to his best friend practically made him go with her. But anyways, there goes my third partner

I'm not even going to try to find a new partner for my period one class, I'm just going to walk in and start sorting out guys like the Harry Potter Sorting Hat, " RAVENCLAW? NOPE, MOVE TO THE OTHER LINE! "

Now lets get to my day 2 period seven class, this is when the story gets real cause I had this class today and I was.... interesting. And I have been violated.

So, Cam , my partner for this class asked ME in advance two weeks before we started, in this really awkward way but nevertheless I said yes and now we're dancing together.

Here's the thing about Cam. Cam is the Einstein kid of the class and he's actually kinda creepy. Oh, and he's had a crush on me since 6th grade. So I didn't factor in that he's wanted to get his hands on me for a while now. My friends, this is your first hint of what went down today.

Now into the tale. My square-dancing group consists of, obviously, myself and Cam. Then there's my best friend Alex with her short partner(Dyllan). There's our other friend Baliegh with her partner that she picked out last minute, David. And finally there is a boy that all the girls hate, Todd, with his partner, Katie. We didn't want Todd and Kate in our group but that's how it went. Tragically.

Straight away I realized how truly screwed I was.

Mainly because I had made the horrible decision to wear some soft, furry boots today, I had little to no traction. We were going very fast paced, and being one of the four girls I had to keep in line so I didn't mess anything up.

Guess who was sliding everywhere.


I literally crashed into Todd at one point, I mean it was bad.

We learned 3 moves immediately but I'm only going to tell you the important ones. Imagine the square, then imagine two people- a boy on the left and a girl on the right - on each side, and that's the square-dancing square. The girl turns to the guy on her right, grabs hands, goes around them, then releases that hand. And grabs her original partners hand, then works around half the square till she gets back to her own partner- this is all fast paced. From there, they quickly walk back to the place they started.

Keep in mind that my traction sucked.

So I grabbed hands with the boy on my right(David), we skipped around each other, and I grabbed hands with Cam. The very second he grabbed me hand I slid, barely holding up my own body, and getting on to the next guy.

Dyllan, the next guy, grips my hand so tightly that when he let go I felt like a torpedo cause with his grip I couldn't go anywhere but where he led me. And when that stability was gone, so was I

Todd's hands felt like he just shook hands with the Ice Queen of Old Narnia like good lord I had chills. After they chiseled me out of my ice cube, I next took hands with the sweatiest, warmest hands on the planet. It was so gross gagging

Cam, being the Einstein that he is, saw how much I was slipping so he stuck his hand out and caught me before I fell. But no, he didn't stick his hand out like he was just finishing a business deal and shaking the other person's hand,

His stuck his arm out like a iron bar that I then slammed directly into, stopping me completely in my tracks, put his arm around me and led me back to where we started.

Another move that we learned was something I like to call the soul eater, just because your in such close proximity, that if your soul floated near you. Your partner could easily grab it and devour it right then and there.

Let us review, Cam has had a crush on me for the past 3 years, now we're less than 2 inches away from each other. And his hands are getting a bit twitchy

With this move you get very close to your partner, the guy puts his hand around the girl's waist, and the girls find the guy's waist. Essentially you just walk around clockwise till you get back to the original position you were in.

When Cam went for my waist,

He wasn't holding my waist.

He went a little lower

Violation #1. I nearly slapped him.

After the 3rd time we had done that, and he did that every time, I stood up on my tippy-toes and whispered oh so delicately in his ear,

" Grab my actual waist or I break your arm, you Tw(a)t. "

I'm such a doll.

Another move we learned was very simple, it's literally that the guy picks the girl up, swings her around, and sets her back down on the ground.

No way to mess this one up, right?


Cam manages to make of the oddest mistakes Katie, whose a senior, has ever seen.

Cam and I make our way towards the center of the circle with Todd and Katie-since we do it at the same time. He picks me up great, he didn't touch the boob and his hand is in the perfect position for lifting. But while I was midair, me and Katie COLLIDE.

Like I don't know who slammed into who but she crashed into my right side and i crashed into her left. Now this would have been fine, Todd kept hold of Katie so she didn't go anywhere,

Cam did not.

Cam, let go.

I bounce off Katie and go flying back to where we first started, I'm not exaggerating. The collision was that hard that me, being 3 feet above the ground, I managed to fly the 6 feet back to were our standings were.

I felt like one of those jelly balls that just bounced off the wall, I landed on my left side but mostly my butt. I just sat there laughing for a full 3 minutes. I didn't move or anything, I just sat there laughing so hard I probably sounded like I needed CPR.

Alex and Dyllan were laughing hysterically, Baliegh was giggling like mad. David smiled so wide I figured he sprained a muscle in his cheek. Todd and Katie were leaning on each other dying. Even the gym teacher and the neighboring squares giggled.

And Cam went beet red.

We did this move a few more times and I didn't crash into anyone but Cam did something that was as much as a violation as touching the rump.

His hands are still a bit twitchy.

We were doing the spin once again, but this time when Cam grabbed my waist, his hands slipped upward and when he lifted me up his hands were near my arm pits and his fingers clutched my boobs.

What a lovely feeling that one was.

Of course being 3 feet in the air this is nothing I could really do about it, I'm here looking like we're recreating a scene from The Lion King. He sets me down finally and I still have the feelings of his hands on my boobs as we head back to the bleachers to leave.

Let's just say the slappy hand was ready.


So yea guys that was my very first day of squaredancing and getting manhandled as I seriously consider a restraining order from my secret admirer of 3 years.

Now what shall happen on Monday? With my unknown partner?

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