Dont Let Me Go ~ A Payzer love story
Why can't I just move on? Why do I have to keep thinking of him every single day? Why am I falling for him again?
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-Happily, One Direction
Since Danielle and I broke up, everything has changed. From the way I dress, to the way I am. I'm a bit more daring now. I just don't know what made me change but I figure it has something to do with me missing Danielle and my new girlfriend, Sophia.
After Danielle and I broke up, I just couldn't find myself, the lads tried to cheer me up by doing things I loved but I just wasn't myself. And yeah I had to put on a smile for the fans but deep down I was broken. I still am. I don't think anyone will be able to fix me because what is missing of me, Danielle took it. Its like a thief in the dark, she ran away with my heart.
I started dating Sophia because well I felt....lonely and I knew I had to get over Danielle one way or another. It hasn't worked though. I still think of her everyday.
As I walked around the park holding hands with Sophia,we passed a girl was walking in the opposite direction of us. She went to sit under a huge oak tree. I tought she would scream or do something when she saw me but she didn't. She had brown curly hair, a white and red shirt, with jeans. She looked familiar but I couldn't remember where I had seen her. As we passed the huge oak tree it finally clicked. It was her. Danielle Claire Peazer. My first true love.
At that moment every day we spent together came flooding through my mind.Every 'i love you' and all the times we spent cuddled in bed and watching a movie. Why did I ever let her go? Why didn't I go after her? Why didn't we try to work things out?Why did I give up so easily? There are many questions I need answers too but I can't solve them without her.
But the questions that haunted me the most where why didn't she try to be strong through it all? Why didn't she tell me so we could've worked something out? But of course it wasn't just her in the relationship. We were a team. That is, until everything became too much for her.
Every time I would travel she would be left alone. Sure, she had her friends but that wasn't enough. I had the lads so I was able to focus on my work. And her? She had nobody. She had to sleep alone in a big bed.She always had to come home to an empty flat. And every time we spent together wasn't enough. I wasn't there for her when she needed me most.
I stopped walking after we were far away from where she was sitting. Not daring to look back.
"What's wrong babe?" -Sophiaasked me as she looked up at me.
"Nothing. I'm just a bit tired."I simply replied, not meeting her eyes.
We went to sit at a bench before my phone buzzed.
Leeyum where gonna go eat with a friend.
Okay Lou just dont get home too late.
I sighed as i watched some little kids play in the swings.
Ive always imagined what it would be like to marry Danielle and watch as our children grew up as we got older.
But that isnt happening.
Thats just not worth it right now because i dont have her anymore.
Ive lost her.