Dont Let Me Go ~ A Payzer love story
Why can't I just move on? Why do I have to keep thinking of him every single day? Why am I falling for him again?
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"A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather. I was praying that you and me might end up together. Its like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert. But im holding you closer than most because you are my heaven."
-A Drop In The Ocean, Ron Pope
I really dont know why we ever let each other go. We loved each other and we where each other's everything. I guess it was just distance, since he is always on tour or doing interviews and well, i have my job as a dancer. But i guess that if we would have had figured out something, none of this would have had happened.
And ive tried so hard to get over him but even though he "moved on" i know he is trying to forget about us. But did everything we had even mean something to him? Our first date and the many others we had? Those nights when we would cuddle together and watch movies? And did all those "i love yous" even mean something to him? Or did he even mean them? It has been four months now and i still dream with him. But in all those dreams he is always on the periphery, never within reach.
I sighed as I got my key from my pocket and oppened the door to my flat slowly.
As i entered the only noise was my shoes on the floor. I miss how everything used to be. My flat had never been this quiet. Every day i came home, i would be greeted by the most beautiful boy.
And well, a few months before our breakup, we adopted a little puppy, and well, that brought us even closer. The day we broke up we made a deal that he would care for him when he could. And well, i guess i was too happy to even realize what was happening between us until it was too late.
I dont know why i let him go.
I guess its just the fact that we didnt spend that much time together.
It almost felt as if as the hours and days webt by we were drifting away slowly.
But it is too late to go back.
Even if i wanted to.
Sorry its a bit short.Thanks. :)