Letters to my past self

Chapter 1


i) there's a dragon in your living room.
you will feed it shattered corpses in the hopes that it does not eat you.
a year and a half later, you will look back and realise how wrong it is to nourish something that could kill you just so it doesn't.

ii) the first time he leaves will feel like withdrawal.
he was a drug so you could forget how you felt nothing,
but he caused more hurt than good,
and i promise you that it was a good thing he was gone for a while.

iii) at the moment, when you hear his name, it is a song.
within six months it will become a gunshot,
a fire alarm,
warning you to run as fast as you can.
you've never been good at following those instincts.

iv) the third time he leaves you he'll come back within the hour.
every time he kisses you all you'll be able to think about are the lies you'll have to tell,
and you don't care.
but you are not a liar.
stop. don't be a liar for him. for anyone. it's not worth it.

v) don't put up with this for long.
when he keeps making you cry i promise you he is not worth it.

vi) how bad does it have to get for you to learn how to walk away?

vii) are you in love or are you just trapped?


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