Chapter 1


she is three years older than me,
and yet the same age as you.
i'm not entirely sure when exactly she came along,
but i've always seen her in the background like a cloud threatening a storm.
three days ago she came to me crying.

it wasn't for the reason that i had first assumed.
no, you see, she was worried.
because she says you're pretending to be patched up,
but you miss another girl like her absence is a black hole that's sucking your entire being into it.

in the middle of the night your tongue works over her name in a constant refrain,
desperation seeping from your eyes as your unconscious body thrashes restlessly.
one day you sleepwalked out the front door and walked up and down the street barefoot,
pleading with her ghost in your mind to forgive you.

and this girl stood in front of me with tears in her eyes,
and you have done so much wrong to her.
because she knows you love her.
and you say you're over that ghost of a girl.
but the ghost is everything she's not.
the ghost is everything she can never be.

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