How to annoy your friends that don't like Warriors (the book series)

I have some friends that really hate cats and are super annoyed whenever i make any sort of reference to it.

They don't know what's coming up for them when school starts >:)

Chapter 1

Are you ready? Cause here we go.

1. Instead of saying "oh my god!" say "Great StarClan!"
2. At lunchtime, if you're having, say, a turkey sandwich, say "oh, my mom pulled this from the fresh kill pile? Oh well, it'll do."
3. If you're tired on day, say it's because you went to the moonpool/moonstone last night and you had to get back really quickly.
4. If there's a dry, sunny area on the playground, yell "SUNNINGROCKS NOW BELONGS TO RIVERCLAN!" and lie down on it.
5. If you're having a sleepover with them, pretend to fall asleep and then a few minutes later start twitching and rolling back and forth. When they wake you up, say "sorry, Tigerstar was trying to get me to join the Dark Forest and when i refused he made Hawkfrost attack me."
6. Demand that they only call you be your warrior name-for example, mine is Leafstorm, so i would only respond if they called me that.
7. Randomly lick the back of your hand (wash it off with warm water-but not soap-before you do) and if people stare at you, say "what? There's no medicine cat to PROPERLY treat my wrenched paw!"
8. Speaking of which, refer to your hands and feet as paws.
9. If people start yelling at you, roll your eyes and say "those crazy TwoLegs..."
10. If you have a cat, or you go to a friend's house and they have a cat, get down on your "paws" and try to rub your nose against its nose.
11. If ^said cat^ runs away, call it a cranky elder/crazy kit.
12. Call the oldest people in your school/the principal of your school elders or senior warriors
13. Call the youngest people in your school kits
14. Call your teacher the Leader and a substitute the Deputy
15. Call your school nurse(s) the medicine cat(s)
16. If you were sick and couldn't come to school, say you had greencough and your medicine cat couldn't find much catmint.
17. Every full moon, mention how excited you are for the Gathering
18. If people ask where you live, say "on [your Clan's] territory, of course! I'm not a loner!"
19. Sometimes, stop speaking normally and just start meowing. When people get annoyed, rant about how crazy TwoLegs are, and how annoying it is that they can never understand catspeak, but some cats understand bits of humanspeak.
20. If someone is being lazy, call them a kittypet.
21. Say that you really want to mentor this one kit in your Clan, because s/he is so much like you and they seem like they'd end up as a really great fighter/hunter.
22. If someone makes a stupid mistake, call them a mousebrain/fishbrain/etc.
23. Similarly, if someone does something mean, say they have the heart of a fox.
24. Instead of using inches/centimeters/feet/meters/etc, use mouselengths, taillengths, foxlengths, and so on and so forth.
25. If one of your parents moved to a different country so s/he could be with your mom/dad, say they're like Crowfeather and Leafpool. Except for the splitting-apart-so-Leafpool-could-save-her-Clan-from-badgers part.

Ok, that's all I have for now. If you have any ideas, feel free to put them in the comments and i might put them in the next chapter. Thanks for reading.


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