My 34 favourite pickup lines. cx

Chapter 1


So you guys may or may not be aware that I am quite the ladies man. ;) And I shall now share with you some of my personal favourite word-combinations (commonly know as sentences, tmyk) to pickup (truck) allllllllll the peoplez. ;P

"Hey, what's your favourite anime? Mine's me you fuckyfucky."

"Just call me the garbage man, cause I want to handle your junk."

"You have beautiful lips." (Idk I just like it okay shut up stop judging me with your eyes)

"I've lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you tonight?"

"That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed."

"Do you play piano, because have sex with me."

"Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking towards here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?"

"Hey, are you a crayon? Cause you colour my world."

"Hey girl, are you a minor? Oh... oh... never mind..."

"Winter is coming? Well so am I."

"Hey girl, did you fall from heaven? Cause I think your legs are broken."

"You should really save water. Take a shower with me."

"If you were a pizza, I'd be really sad, because you can't fuck a pizza."

"You remind me of Tumblr, cause I could scroll down that body all night long. Even though I should be studying."

"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"

"Boy, if you were an iPhone, I'd keep you in my bra."

"I'm looking for treasure, mind if I look around your chest?"

"My tongue challenges your tongue to a wrestling match."

"I want to punch you. In the mouth. Softly. With my mouth."

"Your body is a wonderland, and I'd like to be Alice."

"If you could put a price tag on beauty, you'd be worth more than Fort Knox."

"I counted 67 rings on that tree and none on your finger."

"Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you."

"Your lips look so lonely, would they like to meet mine?"

"Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice."

"Do you know what'd look good on you? Me."

"I'm giving out free kisses cause I'm Irish."

"Are you a unicorn? Cause you look a little horny."

"It's a good thing I brought my library card. Cause I'm totally checking you out."

"Want to practise speaking in tongues with me?"

"Your mouth is invited to a party in my pants."

"Excuse me. I’m from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I’m going to have to ask you to assume the position."

"Stand still so I can pick you up!"

"If beauty were time, you'd be eternity."

So there you have it, lovelies, my 34 favourite pickup lines of all time. Not counting themed ones, of course. Because let's face it, there'd be a bazillion Harry Potter themed one's in there.

I send you out into the world, armed with your weapons artillery of amazingly terrible pickup lines. I still love them, though. :D Good luck, and comment if you have any more? Yesh? No? Miaow?

~Jenni oxo


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