My Virtual Book Of Rants That Will Most Likely Offend

Journal, diary, log, venting book, the documentaion of emotional diarrhea; whatever you want to call it, this is it. I am allowing you an exclusive peek into my mind. Though it will mostly be a lot of anger from and angry girl. Mmm, so inviting.
So read...or don't...do whatever you want...don't read it just cause I told you to. Make up your own minds. Oh dear, this isn't coming out right. Let's just say, "I hope you read this."

Chapter 3

Boy Logic

Disclaimer: this rant does not apply to all of those with male genitalia. Not all of you are like this, so settle down and enjoy laughing at the retards in your gender.

I feel like that title is a lie seeing as boy logic shouldn't even be called logic at all. It is the opposite of logic. It is fluff. Something to fill up the empty space of their cavernous skulls. Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy boys. Boys are nice, they have a nice smell, the give nice hugs, kissing them is nice, hanging out with them is nice and most are pretty funny which is nice. But do you know what isn't nice. THEIR GODDAMNED "LOGIC"!

Now, I'm going to write some scenarios and we shall explore which seems logical and which does not.

Scenario No. 1:

Boy: Hey.
Girl: Hi.
Boy: insert cute, witty joke here
Girl: laughs

A few weeks pass

Boy: Come hang out?
Girl: Sure, what will we do?
Boy: Cuddle and watch movies or something.
Girl: gets all flushed and accepts invite

A few more weeks pass

Boy: I really enjoy your company and I wish to have more of it. Want to be my girlfriend?
Girl: Of course.

They kiss and ride off into the metaphorical sunset and break up a few months later, life goes on.

Scenario No. 2:

Boy: Hey.
Girl: Hi.
Boy: insert cute, witty joke here
Girl: laughs

A few weeks pass

Boy: Come hang out?
Girl: Sure, what will we do?
Boy: Cuddle and watch movies or something.
Girl: gets all flushed and accepts invite

A few more weeks pass

Girl: I'm free this weekend do you want to hang out?
Boy: LOL, I'm going to read her message and not reply and then claim I didn't lead her on. SUPER TOUGH!

Girl spends too much time thinking about what she did wrong and begins to harbour a hatred for the male species.

Hmm, can you guess which is normal behaviour and which is just plain old mentally challenged?

Guys think that girls play mind games, but shut the taco up. You guys do it just as much, if not more, than us. It drives me freakin' loco, mate.

Like, idgaf how nice your cheekbones are, you super attractive, good humoured boy. If I see you seeing my messages and then not replying, I will fist your butthole with my knuckles of steel. It's just plain rude. Just tell them you're not interested instead of treating them like second rate places to shove your pulsating man shaft.

And, no. Do not think that I'm one of those weird as stalker chicks who saves dude's profile pictures on Facebook into a private collection that I use to pleasure myself daily. I just really enjoyed this particular guy's company and his nice facial features. And I really began to like him and I believed that he liked me back. It's unfair to ask a girl on a date and then start ignoring her a few weeks later.

But like I said: boy logic = not real logic.

So, yeah, swag.

Peace.

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