(This will make absolutely no sense if you don't watch Doctor Who. If you read it anyway, please don't tell me about how it makes no sense. I know it doesn't)
Written by Starfree, Sleepingforevermore, xxdragonbitesxx, EzlyBored, and doctorstarwhotrek, Writer Who? is a spin-off of the popular BBC series Doctor Who.
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The Monster From the Sea
I officially hate Ireland.
I'd time-traveled to Ireland in the year 3011, discovered a tunnel straight to the center of the earth, and naturally gone to investigate. What I found there landed the #3 spot on my Top Three Worst Alien Encounters Ever list. I think it may have been human once, a long, long time ago. This creature was made entirely of flames and completely off its rocker. I had saved the humans down there and destroyed the monster, but for a price.
I'd seen a reflection of myself in one of the windows. My fiery red hair had been tangled by thermal winds and singed incredibly short. My pale skin was blackened with burns and I was bleeding profusely in several places. I was on the brink of death when golden light washed over every inch of exposed skin. My hair became long and dirty blonde, my skin healed, my eyes changed to brown, and my entire being younger.
That is who I am. Time, civilization, discovery, life, death, and the things in between. I have been a witness to more significant events than you can even name, changed my face on the brink of death, and traveled through time, space, and dimensions. I am a Time Lord, eldest of my kind. I left my homeworld hundreds of years ago when I was only 13, and I have defended Earth against the forces that would destroy it ever since. I am the Writer, and I will protect your world at any cost.
I rested against the side of my ship, TASDA (which had disguised herself as a small lighthouse), dozing on a beach towel. Regeneration was tough on your stamina, and it was only a matter of time before I lost consciousness completely.
I stared out over the ocean, picking at a loose thread on my board shorts (I'd changed into a bathing suit and board shorts in hopes of regaining the color I'd lost through the regeneration process) and trying to keep sand from getting everywhere, when people started screaming and running away from the water. I parked my sunglasses on top of my head and lurched to my feet to see what was wrong.
Something was coming out of the ocean. Something big. It looked like a gigantic olive-green squid, but about a hundred times bigger. A Paxma, or as you call it, the Kraken. (It's pronounced kray-ken, not crack-ken, by the way. The actual Krakens are very particular about that.) Everyone was evacuating the beach as quickly as possible; everyone, that is, but one girl who pulled out a handgun and started shooting at it.
I ran over to her and grabbed her by the shoulder.
"What are you DOING?" I asked her, amazed that anyone could actually be stupid enough to try to SHOOT a Paxma with a HUMAN weapon.
She turned around, surprised. "I'm trying to kill that thing before it kills something!" she replied angrily.
"Oh no, dear," I shook my head, "You don't want to do that. You'll just make it mad."
"Isn't it already mad? That's why it's attacking the beach, right?"
I laughed a little. "It's just grouchy. You do NOT want to see one of these when they're really mad. It could smear you into the sand like that," I said, snapping my fingers after the word 'that'. With that, I splashed into the water, then swam out towards the Paxma. It looked down at me as if to say 'Who is this insignificant creature and why does it dare approach me?'
Using its writhing tentacles like a slippery ladder, I climbed up to approximately where its left ear was located. Its left eye blinked at me sleepily. 'Get on with it, creature,' it grumbled.
"Hello there," I started, "What might your name be, sir?"
It rumbled an answer.
"Oh, Maxus? That's a nice name. Hello, Maxus."
It rumbled in an agitated manner.
"I know, I know. I'm sure she's VERY sorry she shot at you. She's only human, she didn't know any better."
"Well, in her defense," I paused to yawn, "you did seem rather angry." Another yawn. "It was only a self defense maneuver. Can I ask you a favor?"
"Well," I rubbed my eyes and yawned, "I was wondering if you could go back to sleep, please?"
It grumbled enthusiastically, its way of agreeing.
I yawned deeply and patted it on the head. "I'm glad we're on the same page, then."
It lowered the tentacle I was balancing on down to the beach and I jumped off, landing on my back. Then, the Paxma sank back beneath the waves. I stood up and shook the sand out of my shorts.
"How did you understand that thing? All it did was make rumbling sounds," the dark-hared girl asked skeptically.
I rubbed my face. "Simple. The, um, that," I waved my hand in TASDA's general direction, "does the thing where it makes me able to," yawn, "understand the that thing." I pointed back in the Paxma's general direction. "Now if you'll excuse me," I pitched forward into the sand and passed out.