The Diary of Sister Sarcasm. (Like I want you to read about this chick....)

The Diary of Sister Sarcasm. (Like I want you to read about this chick....)

So case you haven't got the alarming message.....

Alright this site isn't a dictatorship, a monarchy, or under a communist government. Its basically a direct democracy. (6th grade social studies 101!) If you just so happened to not read the title....the majority of the "participating" Quibblo peeps....wanted to know what this chick does in her time off of Quibblo. OH! A dude named Nyao is also a part in this. You'll find the panda interesting. ;) He does his entries in italics.

Chapter 1

9/27/12-9/28/12 (Covers 2 days) I feel lazier than the dude who created the Libyan flag.

The chapter title says it all.....

But not lazy enough to get my big butt outta bed this morning at 4:30 in the fvcking morning and go for a mile run...and a mile walk. I dress, get my music, earbuds who seem to have a boxing match in my pocket just on the journey from my bedroom door, to the front door! Anyway, I do my stretch routine, and I start. Its fvcking dark outside, humid, cool, and by myself....NOT EVEN MY PARENTS KNOW I DO THIS EVERY TUESDAY, THURSDAY AND SATURDAY! I a blind 80 year old ninja. XD parents know. So I'm running my mile.....I feel like Usain I think I look.....a wildbeast getting the hell outta Dodge. How I actually looked....well, you're a stalker, you should know that by now. XD ;) Probably a sumo wrestler sprinting towards the grand opening of a KFC in Tokyo.

So after my little run, I take a ten year long shower, get dressed, do my hair, then hit the kitchen table. I plomp down, stuff my face with piping hot eggs and toast.

Twenty minutes later, I was drowned with a bunch of, "Hi Kallie! Good morning!" 's and "Kallie, I like your hair/shirt/shoes/pants! See you in (whatever mod they first see me in)" or "Hey, G'Morning Kallie! Just so you know, you made a 100 on the last quiz....good job. Oh yeah, go to Mrs. Spann's room and get my iPad...I left it in her room." (Yep....that's the typical day....just throw a couple details off and you've got a Monday. XD Haha to me)

I go get my badge from my seventh (last mod of the day) mod teacher, go to locker, put away my backpack, textbook, all that stuff and head to Technology, across the courtyard. Technology FLIES by.....a third grader would understand what to do. Our teacher is like the Goddess of the Oblivious and doesn't recognize me listening to some "furriner's" singing.(insider with me and Ariana!) Bell rings, be like Usain Bolt again out the door, across the courtyard looking like a freaking tard. I'm the first one in the Pluto hallway. For ONE reason only. Because I want HIM to myself for a few extra seconds. ;) Second mod, is Skills and this week, I go to Geogrphy/Economics. a.k.a Mr. Snardon's class. My FAVORITE teacher ever....bless his heart. The dude's sadly colorblind. XD That Monday was his.....24th birthday? Anyway.

Cool summary of second mod? I can't BELIEVE I'm "ASSOCIATED" with some of these people. Just being AROUND them can make you dumber. I mean...this is the eighth grade. Who fvck in the eighth grade thinks that China and "North Asia" are continents? Anyway...I was given a map of Europe, "Label all the countries as best as you can.....I have three maps in here that you can refer to if you need help." I'm sitting here, "Bxtch please, I don't need no map!" In fact, I even point out to the teacher that the map is missing some countries. "Mr. Snardon.....what happened to Estonia and Lithuania and Croatia.....?"

Fast forward to 3rd class with Mrs. Davidson. A chick that's like my Mom mixed with Madonna. :P But she's cool. first impression, you'll think she's the nicest woman in the world. But once you get to know how her vocabulary and emotions work....she's the biggest (babyproofed) in the world. The first class of the day with my fellow Honors students. Some ghetto....some fvckin stuck up, preppy, snotty, think they're invincible totally shy girl that I try to get her out of her shell with. I swear...these girls. shakes my head with annoyance In every Honors class...there's at least 4-5 girls that stick together....they all have the same personalities, same voice, same kind of's like they're the extra skinny versions of mannequins that you find in malls. But they're just all painted different colors. The artist must be high on some camel dung or something. "Ahhhh...this one's gonna have brown hair...while the other has strawberry blonde, BUSHY hair so people can think she's an albino black person."

And then there's people like me. My only good guy friend thats in the Honors or even goes to my school. DX And then....there's my second number one girl buddeh, Ariana! (iLoVeMyBaByJaSoN) She's my favorite domino that has a fetish for Mexicans.....and recently, Asians. Especially now that I made her into a Shawol. (I swear....SHINee's like a religion now....but unlike her, I listen to other Kpop SS501. Super Junior and BigBang.....but my favorite is SHINee.)

Fourth Mod. English with Mrs. Spann. To be honest...I don't like her. She comes to school with a new hair do, new fifty dollar nails, she dresses like one of those stereotypical Catholic School girls that got threw up by the devil. (.....That's an ironic pun there...). Plus....she always smiles a phony smile...and she DOES. NOT. STAND. STILL. She's freaking.....30 something years old, she shouldn't be like Sonic the Hedgehog around the room! Anyway...we had a guest speaker that day. Her father in law came in an preached the honors class about what it was like to be in the Vietnam War. (I swear to Goodness...he kept staring at me land I'm like in my head, "May I help you Black Dynamite version of Santa Claus?") But he was cool....I asked him some intelligent, thought out questions. Well...they might not have been the best, but at least I din't ask, "Did you kill Osama Bin Laden?" (And by the way that poor boy spelled it on his paper, I didn't think he killed, "osma ben latin". It was a Navy Seal two years ago...not an Army veteran who retired eight years ago. TARD!!)

After that little festival, we went to lunch. At fvcking 11:07. (In the seventh grade, we went to lunch at FVKING 10:15 ON REGULAR SCHEDULES!) I don't eat nothing really...besides some grapes and an apple juice and a sucker.

After out little roast out of a lunch (My table went around and insultede each other...of course I had the best insults....people were too scared to insult me. But apparently, if I was dropped back in Puerto Rico, I would be spray painted until the Taliban came and picked me up to use as target practice), we went to 5th mod, American History....with Mr. Snardon. That one teacher who's like...a friggin kid himself! In that class...I swear, we got off topic SO EASILY! I remember one day, we were talking about the Diary of Anne Frank, on how she was "experimenting with her love" and she goes, "Oh, if I only had a girl friend!" and Mr. Snardon goes, "Well maybe that's why the book goes, "Just open the door, and go right through." So...we were talking about lezbos with a grown, male teacher. I'm sitting there cracking up so hard, I sound like a retarded seal.

Bell does its song. Normally I would just go put my history book in my locker and go back to Mr. Snardon's class for Content Reading...but it was Thursday. Which means I get to go to GTC (Gifted and Talented Class)...wellthe majoirty of the class went, leaving only five by themselves with Mr. Snardon. Maybe they need to teach him his colors......."This is red! Not pink! This is yellow! Not green! This is white! Not pink!" So basically, in GTC, we had free time for about twenty minutes and discussed about our future field trip to go see an original play of Romeo and Juliette in the winter.

Bell sang its song again. My trie of friends, including myself go back ot the Pluto hallway, dodging a certain person the Jupiter team in the eighth grade. So me and Ariana got the hell outta Dodge and we sprinted to Math, our seventh mod. When we stomp through the door, out of breath, what met us was a short, annoyed yet at the same time amused Mrs. Darnall. The three of us looked down at the green tile and held back as much alughter as we can. We sat down....still laughing our butts off because of Skylar's expression on her face whenever I said, "AW SHT ITS HER!"

So basically math went down by learning the formula y=mx+b using y-intercept. Joy. After a few moments, I was like, "WUT?" and then after reading my notes, I have a "AHA!" moment and then seventh mod goes by smoothly.

After school, me and Travis go to academic team practice while Ariana decides to sacrifice her time with me to go practice for All-District band. So me and Travis go to practice, completely give Skylar the cold shoulder. Even though she KNOWS I hate her pizza face. I mean this girl....I used to be best friends with her two years ago...until she got interested in Ariana (back then I wasn't friends with Ariana) So I hated them both and joined the preps. Fast forward two and Ariana are best friends and she admits that she actually hates Skylar but doesnt want to let go. Last year in the seventh grade, Skylar kept butting in and insists on being me and Ariana's "friend". So in the middle of nowhere, while she's preaching about how she washed her face twice a day, I just lose it and I put my hands on her shoulders, take a deep breath and say, "No fvck. Your voice gives my ears hell. Its too loud. You should stop talking for ten minutes. You should also stop breathing for ten minutes, because it's too loud too." and I say it with a smile because it's polite. :D Anyway....back to Skylar's appearance. Perfect description of her: A hippie wanna be that wears hoodies all day everyday that are five sizes too big and jeans that are five sizes too small. THEY AINT SKINNY JEANS EITHER! THEY FLARE AT THE BOTTOM! And she has hair four feet long, Harry Potter glasses, a unibrow and has so many pimples on her face, if you played Connect-The-Dots on her face, there would'nt be no lines, there would be just one huge splotch of Sharpie on her face.

Then at the practice!! OMG...I need to sit down before my blood pressure goes up. raises out of chair, sits back down Okay....this girl, named Skylar right? Alright...she comes up to me, smiling with her yellow teeth. (i swear to Goodness....her teeth are so freaking yellow, if she smiles towards the street, it would slow down traffic!) Anyway, with a fake tone in her voice, she goes, "Where's Ariana? My best friend?" (She puta a lot of effort into "best friend") Then I notice that she's taller than me. I'm like...WHO, completely disregarding the question. I look down....gets up and bangs head against the closet door and she was wearing a pair of friggin BLUE AND GREEN STRIPPER HEELS!!! bangs head even harder THE FRIGGIN HEEL IS AS BIG AS MY HAND!! AND I CAN CLOBBER THE HULK WITH MY HANDS!!! And I look back up at her with this expression, >:O. The down at her shoes....then back up at her. And I go, "Dude....if you wore the complete outfit of Stripper Deluxe to school....and you were the last female on Earth...mankind would come to a scrrrreeeeching halt." And I turn on my heel and go set up the buzzers.

To be fairly square with myself, the majority of the tossup questions that i answer are Social Studies/Geography/World Civilizations/Mythology questions. I answered all the history questions correct, Mr. Snardon should be there to pat my back if he wasn't a germophobe and was actually there.

From 2:30 to hour long of practice, cold stares and stupid laughs later, I was out the front doors of Paducah Middle school, ready to go to Barbecue on the River.

Basically how it went from bad to worse in the course of five hours was that:
A) I was drop dead broke
B) My family couldn't come
C) Blank wasn't going to be there. :'( (HE DIDN'T COME UNTIL THE NEXT DAY WHEN I DIDN'T GO)
D) I finally did get some money but was stupid enough to waste it on a makeshift mechanical bull and you have to sign a fvcking WAIVER TO RIDE IT. PATHETIC.
E)Once I did get on it after my tenth try...I was sitting on the head, facing backwards...THE BULL COULDNT EVEN MOVE BECAUSE I WAS TOO HEAVY TO BE SITTING ON THE HEAD!! XD
F) I got hit on by a stranger by the Pepsi stand
G)I was late meeting my Dad at the corner and can't go again this year.

Well...thats how the Twenty-seventh of September of Two-Thounsand Twelve....minus Quibblo


Today was....okay, I guess.

One things for sure...waking up ten minutes before 7:00 A.M when you're supposed to BE THERE AT 7:00 TO MAKE UP TWO QUESTIONS ON A QUIZ THAT TURNED YOUR GRADE FROM AN A/100 TO A C/79!!! This grading scale sucks....

Anyway, I have one leg in my favorite pair of skinny jeans, while I'm brushing my teeth, and waking up my parents isn't really harmonious. With the tooth =brush in my mouth, I was saying, "Madre! Padre! Get up! GET UP! Its SEVEN o'CLOCK!! UP! UP! UP!" but what it sounded like was, "Mashai! Pasai! Yut ug! YUT UG! Zis SWUFUN O FVCK! UG! UG! UG!"......Surprisingly....God was helping me, and I got ready in world record of seven minutes. I just didnt eat breakfast but there was one downside.....IT RAINED OVERNIGHT....THE CADILLAC'S WINDOWS WERE DOWN so I sat in a puddle of rain....and excuse my tallness but my butt was positioned so perfectly, it made me look like I needed some Depend Diapers.

So I do my routine.....and told Mrs. Spann that I won't be able to retake that quiz until after school. And I'm like, "Okay...see you in fourth mod, Mrs. Spann" and I stumble towards Mrs. Darnall's class to go rescue my UGLY BUTT BADGE!! GAWD I HATE THAT FVCKTARD PICTURE OF ME!! Thats the most ghetto thing I ever been associated with. DX Seconds later, I was stumbling to Tech in the POURING RAIN LIKE I WASNT SUPPOSED TO DO, BUT I DON'T CARE. cues "Rain drops keep falling on my head" song

So basically, we watched a gay ash ChannelOne video, took a test over gibberish about domain names, URLS, TLD's.....How to Truncate. Luckily I had a "URL" of my own and managed to get a 100% Sssshhhhh And then we had free time. (The school's internet system won't let us go on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook etc etc...) BUT IT CAN LET ME GO ON QUIBBLO AND PANDORA!! (and the ads on Quibblo are so fvcked up......So I'm sitting there, smiling like a fvcktard, writing my little novel that forms my life but is more...."Detailed" it's called 50 Shades of Grim. ;) (To Ariana: Dude....there's gonna be a random oven in the classroom, trying to boil some of that mutated generic cheese!!! My "Daddy's" still gonna use his powers to make it me. ;) Oh yeah.....just so you know, me, Ariana, Travis, and Hannah call Mr. Snardon the Great Grim Reaper of Zimbabwe...don't ask. He reminded me of a grim reaper and he's black or mixed...I can't tell. But he's gotta be from somewhere and the first African country that popped into my head was Zimbabwe. DO DA CREEP!! 8:31, we switched to second mod. Amazingly, I was like two minutes late to class and The Great Grim Reaper didnt count me tardy. So we had a quiz over the different landforms and the continents. I flew through it in less than two minutes and worked on my story. Grimmy (The Great Grim Reaper from Zimbabwe) is like, "You finished already? Dang" and he takes up my quiz while I just lay my head on my desk in such a lazy, bitter body language. What seemes like an hour....I fell asleep for the FIRST TIME IN CLASS. Then I had a friggin HEART ATTACK OR TWENTY by the sound of a loud " BANG!!! right beside me. I jumped three feet in the air, and then when I could actually see out of my eyes, I saw Grimmy looming over me with a smirk on his face and a History book next to his foot. Well rumour has it, he woke me up. He goes, "Morning. Rumour has it that you were asleep." (In his room, he plays iHeartRadio a lot..and Rumour Has It was on.) and I put on my Sister Sarcasm Hat and reply with such a polite yet amused tone, "That's right Captain Obvious, and someone like you angers me. And I'd like to get some sleep before I set my fire to the rain and onto your face"
Class: "ooooh"...."Thats a threat" ....."Aw sht!"
Grimmy: I could write you up for threatening a teacher....even worse, a suspension."
Kallie: Meep. (Ienable a poker face because on the inside....I wasn't at peace. I was peeing and kicking myself mentally)


FAST FORWARD TO LUNCH!!! TODAY WAS FRIDAY. For the eighth graders on Fridays, we sat where we wanted to anywhere in the lunchroom (we usually sat in our assigned rows based on the teacher who brought us)....I sit at the usual table I sit at on Friday's. Travis and Hannah and Ariana accompany us and we play with food. (I lunch is like to play with, but you can't eat it) But today we had Domino's, so it's all good. :D

Classes with Grimmy: (5th and Sixth Mods) In 5th Mod...we cracked jokes at people and we had a debate over something I forgot was about. We took a quiz, played as First Graders and cut and glued a tea pot and tea bags on a red paper explaining the reasons for Rising Tension in the 13 colonies. Then we basically had free time because Grimmy's striking up convo's about the NFL conspiracy to the football players. And I'm in the corner cracking jokes to half-strangers and Grimmy himself lending an ear. 6tgh Mod- COMPLETELY FREE TIME. Mainly because on Friday's we have TIP time...or free social time in the hallway. Only for some reason, we just stayed put. I was cracking even more jokes, more cute stories about my little Polak cousins and their pet rabbit. And then Grimmy just randomly said STORY TIME!!! and he pulled up a stool and told a funny story that we shouldn't even be laughing at. (He told s it in second mod when everyone was finished with their quiz but some people kept on talking about it all day and he just might as well fill in everyone about it. Although I'm not going to tell it because it's not as funny if you're reading it. You NEED EXPRESSIONS. Sorry guys basically we laughed at a poor girl that had a concussion and her smiley face umbrella wasn't exactly on her side when she went under the tree.)

When I was going next door to check into Algebra before leaving, I was doing the Gangnam Style down the hallway like the proud tard I am. I can DO IT TOO!!!! EEEEEEHHHHHH SEXY LADY!! OP OP OP OP OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!! Even got some people to do it with me!! (Hahaha...jk.)

So we took a quiz in math about some Chinese Rocket Science. I went with my gut...tried my best and then I called it a good job for today.

Within the hour, Fall Break started. i was home...on a Friday a grimlin, telling you how Sister Sarcasm spends her typical day.

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ
ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ
ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

So this was my first diary entries. I'm sorry I missed yesterday's.....didn't get home until eleven o'clock and had to go STRAIGHT TO BED FOR SCHOOL. I pray to Lord, I don't have to tell you all the little details that happen, cuz if I did, I would be sitting in Juve for involuntary manslaughter. And on that happy note, be on the lookout for tomorrow's...or technically today's.....I got finshed with this at 1:48 A.M. on the 29th.

Kallie!! :D P.S.: YOU BETTER FVDGING COMMENT. If you don't, I will look for you....I will find you...and I will kill you. Please leave a message at the tone...BEEEEEP!!!

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