The Human Race is Doomed to Stupidity

In case you needed proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

Chapter 1


1. Children's Aspirin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

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