Chapter 1

by: _Ripple_
Darling, are you listening? I'm trying to tell you a story.

No? No…of course not. You never listen. Never.

I'm going to make things easy. I'm going to write this down.

I would have loved for you to listen to me, this one, last time. After this, you'll never have to hear the sound of my voice again. I hope you'll find this soon enough. Darling, I want you to know that although you'll always be my one and only, I despise you with a terrible and burning passion. Are you surprised? Do you feel guilty? I hope so. I hate you so, so much after all. I hope reading this tears you apart with guilt. I understand that you loved me, and that you always wanted me to be happy. I understand how awful you'll feel reading this, knowing that you have made the last years of my life hell. It makes me happy, to think how reading this letter will tear you apart. I want to cause you pain, do you see? That is how much I despise you. I want you to know what I have felt. I want you to take that pain into your own heart, and I want to multiply it time and time again, until the pain is like all the fires of hell burning within you. I want it to devour you from the inside out. I want you to writhe and scream and cry out for mercy.

But I will not be merciful. I will not stop. I know that by the end of this, you will still love me. How could you ever stop loving me? I was so perfect when you found me. So happy and free and full of kindness and joy. You fell in love with me for that, and who could blame you? I fell in love with you too, I must admit. You, darling, you were intelligent and charming, and so, so very handsome. I married you, and time passed. Your love grew for me over the years, as I became ill. My sickness was nothing that any doctor could diagnose, but you knew that something, something terrible indeed, was eating away at my life. I lost my love for the sunlight, for my books, for the stories you told me, and for the hours we spent together. I became indifferent. I cared for nothing and for no one, least of all for you. I would sit for hours, do you remember, darling? Staring at the walls, or the ceiling, or at the distant ocean that I watched through the window, or the empty space that resided in the back of my head. You became so concerned. Oh, if only I had any pity left for you! It tortured you, not being able to see inside my head, as you had once done. I kept things from you. I kept everything from you. You watched me waste away, darling, and I saw how sometimes you wept, and sometimes you stormed and raged through the house, wanting to tear apart the source of my misery.

Now, darling, let me share something with you.

My misery, the thing that you so despised, was you.

You, who saw in me only what you wanted me to be, not what I really was. You never really looked at me, never really listened. You did not love me, you loved the image that you had shrouded me in, the image of perfection and purity that you thought I ought to be. Oh, how I hated you! I still hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

Darling, my one and only, do you see? Tell me! Tell me that you see what you've done to me!


My anger poisons my words.

You will see.

Now, darling, I spoke earlier of how I hoped you would find this note. Never mind, I will make sure that you find it. It will be on your dresser. So, I assume you are reading this in the bedroom, yes? Of course you are.

Now, I know the time has nearly come when you will really, truly see me. I am in the next room, darling. Come any find me! I made myself a pretty necklace, and strung myself up by it. Come and see me, now! You don't have to look hard. I've made it easy for you. Just one glance is all it will take, and you will see me for what I really am. For what you made me into, perhaps, or perhaps I was always like this. I'm afraid even I can no longer tell.

My darling, my one and only.

I'm waiting.


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