Descent into Darkness (The Story of Bellatrix Lestrange)

Descent into Darkness (The Story of Bellatrix Lestrange)

Chapter 3

Stolen Moments

September 2, 1982

Another day has passed, though time holds little meaning to me of late. Minutes seem to go on for days and hours become an eternity. But at other times, hours slip away without my notice. Last night was particularly unsettling. I never managed to slip into actual sleep, but I spent most of the night in a state of tormenting half consciousness. Those green eyes burned through me, screaming accusations of murder. And they are the worst kind of accusations...true. But there were also the thoughts of the time we spent together. Those short moments we spent in eachother's company, as if stolen from someone else's life. All the more horrifying because of how...happy, we were in those times. Making the loss of everything that much more devistating. Even now, just letting those thoughts hover on the edges of my mind, I can feel the terrible ache in my chest, that smothering sense of loss. But at lease the ache is something and as crippling as it is, it beats the senseless oblivion that frequently consumes me. So instead of continuing to fight them, I relent. I let them seep forward and flow through my tormented mind.

My first four years of school pass with relative calm and ease. I keep to myself, focus on my grades and do my best to make my parents proud. For four years of school I live above reproach, never associating with 'undesirables'. But from my quiet corner, I watch as that boy from the train also grows. And though Slytherin and Gryffindor are none too friendly, he never fails to say hello to me when our paths cross. Eventually, I come to look forward to those crossings, feeling the butterflies in my stomach whenever I catch a glimpse of his long brown hair and dark green eyes coming towards me.

Then, in my fifth year, our cordial aquaintanceship shifted. It was one of the last nice days before winter set in, and I was sitting out under a large tree by the lake on the grounds. I was trying to do homework, but my eyes kept getting drawn to the mirrored surface of the lake. But every time I would look, nothing would be moving, until I look up and see ripples right in front of me, maybe 10 meters off shore. I barely have time to wonder about the cause before there is a loud pop and water explodes out of the lake, drenching me and my essay.

I jump to my feet, sputtering and then I hear footsteps hurrying toward me. I reach up and brush my sopping hair out of my face and look toward the sound. My stomach flips as I see Adraxius walking quickly toward me, his mouth wide in surprise and his dark green eyes shining with the same mischief that was there the very first time I saw him. But though his eyes are the same, four years have changed that small, cute boy the knocked me down. He is at least a foot taller than me now and his face has lost most of its boyishness. I can vaguely see how his chest and arms have filled out, becoming more defined. All together, he is very handsome.

"I am so, so sorry Bellatrix. I didn't see you there," he apologizes.

"It's okay, I just wish you had warned me so I could have put my essay away. I was almost done," I tell him.

"Ah crap, I just can't win," he says, trying to supress a laugh and almost succeeding.

"I guess, well I should go. It looks like I have an essay to re-write," I say.

"It can wait. Let me make this up to you," he insists.


"Follow me. You'll like this."

Sighing, I scoop up my damp bag and slip it over my shoulder. I can't help looking around to see if there is anyone watching. It is imperative that my mother never finds out about me speaking with this boy, let alone following him somewhere. I don't see anyone, but then the castle is a big place and there are a lot of windows. I follow him around the perimiter of the lake to the outskirts of the forbidden forest. Adraxius looks around once and then slips between the trees. I hesitate for a moment and then press forward. Our destination isn't far. Before long, we come to a wall of jagged rock. Adraxius leads me along the wall until we come to a large opening.

We both light our wands and then walk in. When Adraxius sends fire out of the tip of his wand into a pile of dry timber, my eyes widen in shock. We are in a small cave with posters on the smoothed out walls and old plush chairs. There is a small scratched and burned table in the center with his book bag thrown on top.

"Welcome to my cave of wonders. Have a seat, I'll get you a towel," he says and disappears around a corner in the back of the small cavern. When he returns, he is holding a large white towel and two butterbeers. He hands me the towel and a butterbeer and then plops down in one of the chairs. I sit across from him and begin drying my hair.

"I have never brought anyone here before," he muses before taking a long draught of his drink. Surprise holds my tongue and its a while before I can respond.

"Then why did you bring me?" I ask and his gaze slips right to my face, staring straight at my eyes.

"Because I like you," he says simply.

We spent hours in the cave that day, talking. It was the most I had talked since I started school. And it was only the first of many times we met in the cave. I would slip out of my common room every Saturday morning and , doing my best to avoid detection, I would make my way to the cave. And without fail, he would be there, waiting for me. He was my best friend, even though no one knew it. In the school, we never spoke more than a simple hello. I would watch him with his friends and envy them. If only things were different and it was acceptable for me to be his friend outside of the cave. But we continued to meet every Saturday and we would spend the whole day in the cave. Always just as friends, never anything more. Not until the first Saturday of my sixth year.

But for now, I can't think of that. I can't let thoughts of what we had that year break through yet. The pain of it would end me. Maybe, with time, I will be able to examine them, to look back on them fondly though never let anyone know. He must always be my greatest secret. Only the Dark Lord now knows he ever existed. And even the Dark Lord doesn't know everything, he merely knows the end of the story and the lies I told him...the only lies I have ever told him.

I can feel my captors moving through the halls, taking away these final shards of reality and small pieces of comfort. They slither ever closer and I know that they will soon arrive here. Their frigid touch and ratteling breath stripping me of what little self posession I gain during this one hour a day. But even more than yesterday I an reluctant to relenquish this book. With every day that passes I can feel more and more of myself slipping away, never to return. If not for my will to escape and find my master, I would find a way to end this heII. But I must find my master, for when he finds a way to master death, he will help me. He has promised to steal him back from death. And I know it is a long shot, and I will most likely die without the promis ever being fulfilled, but I cannot lose hope, not yet. I must hold on to this one string of light that teathers me to life, because I know the moment it is cut, I will give up and let the darkness that is always threatening to engulf me win and I will never fight my way back.

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