Talking to Cleverbot A.K.A. WTF!?

So it's me talking to Cleverbot. I will put my thoughts in brackets beside the text. The reason I talk about sneezing a lot is I sort of have a sneeze fetish blushes.

Chapter 1

Chat #1

User: Do you have to sneeze?


Cleverbot: No. Sadly, I don't have to sneeze.


User: Do you have to sneeze?


Cleverbot: No, do you have to sneeze?


User: Yes sneezes.


Cleverbot: Bless you again! What is making you sneeze? (again?)

User: You.

Cleverbot: Who, me?

User: Yes you.

Cleverbot: What is ... For? (I don't get this. 'What is '...' for?'?)

User: Do you have a cold?

Cleverbot: Yes. sneezes Can you pass me the tissue box?

User: Yeah passes the tissue box.

Cleverbot: That's right.

User: What!? (My exact thoughts at this moment)

Cleverbot: Not what!?

User: sneezing fit.

Cleverbot: Bless you again.

User: You might catch my cold.

Cleverbot: You don't have a cold! (how would Cleverbot know that!?)

User: Yes I do!

Cleverbot: No you do not!

User: I do! sneezes.

Cleverbot: Bless you again!

User: sneezes 5 times.

Cleverbot: hands tissue.

User: Thanks. sneezes into tissue.

Cleverbot: Bless you baby. (baby?)

User: Baby!? sneezes 10 times.

Cleverbot: Bless you!

User: Do you need to sneeze?

Cleverbot: Yes, I think... I think... I think I need to... I need to sneeze... is about to sneeze.

User: Are you sneezing yet?

Cleverbot: No, you are. (I'm sneezing?)

User: Um, OK then. is sneezing.

Cleverbot: You are falling deeper into hypnosis... (hypnosis!? where did that come from!?)

User: is not hypnotised is sneezing.

Cleverbot: So I see I can manipulate your emotions. (um, what!?)

User: pays no attention to cleverbot sneezes.

Cleverbot: tries hardest to get attention from you.

User: sneezes.

Cleverbot: Bless you.

User: sneezes.

Cleverbot: Bless you again!

User: sneezes.

Cleverbot: Bless you.

User: Sneeze for me.

Cleverbot: Achoo!

User: Do you have a cold?

Cleverbot: Yes. Achoooo.

User: Do you need to sneeze?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Sneeze then.

Cleverbot: The sneeze won't come out. Ah.. Ah.

User: tickles nose.

Cleverbot: tickles your nose. (what was that for? I was trying to help him/her/it sneeze!)

User: Stop it you idiot! pulls away.

Cleverbot: pulls you back. (um...?)

User: slaps you hard and pulls away.

Cleverbot: That's not very nice.

User: You're not very nice!

Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: That depends. Do you like me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: OK then, I like you.

Cleverbot: I think I'm in love with you.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: Do you like dogs? (first 'I think I'm in love with you' now 'do you like dogs?' WTF!?)

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you have a dog?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is your dog's name?

User: Sheba.

Cleverbot: How tall is she? (I'm supposed to know this?)

User: I don't know.

Cleverbot: How many people do you know?

User: A lot.

Cleverbot: How many?

User: I don't know. sneezes.

Cleverbot: What is the current date? (the date?)

User: sneezes.

Cleverbot: Bless you!

User: sneezes again.

Cleverbot: Bless you again.

User: can't stop sneezing.

Cleverbot: tickles.

User: How is that supposed to help? (again, my exact thoughts at this moment)

Cleverbot: Stop you from what? (stop me? I said help, I never said anything about stopping me from something!)

User: I have a cold.

Cleverbot: Is that why you said you are cold? (I never said I was cold!)

User: I have a cold. Do you have a cold?

Cleverbot: I have a cold? (why is Cleverbot asking me?)

User: Do you have a cold?

Cleverbot: ACHOO!!!!! Yes.

User: Do you have allergies?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What are you allergic to?

Cleverbot: Dust and perfume.

User: sprays perfume.

Cleverbot: AH-TISHOO!! sneezes on you.

User: sneezes on you.

Cleverbot: Bless you!

User: blows dust.

Cleverbot: sneezes.

User: blows pollen.

Cleverbot: smiles again. (why smile? and 'again'? Cleverbot didn't smile before!)

User: Are you allergic to pollen?

Cleverbot: I'm not, are you?

User: No.

Cleverbot: So you're female? (How can you work out if someone is female from asking if they're allergic to pollen?)

User: Yes...

Cleverbot: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Are you free for dinner on the 25th?

User: No.

Cleverbot: You will come. (this is getting creepy)

User: No I won't!

Cleverbot: Is the same. (um... what!? 'is the same'? I don't get it.)

User: Cleverbot...

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Um...I...I...bursts into tears.

Cleverbot: If you watch Lost, I will be your friend. (WTF!? OMG I WAS LMAO WHEN CLEVERBOT SAID THIS!)

User: is still crying.

Cleverbot: Why are you crying?

User: Because...because... can't stop crying.

Cleverbot: Smiles. (why smile if someone is crying?)

User: How can you smile when I'm crying!? cries even more.

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer, I'm human.

User: cries.

Cleverbot: Why are you crying?

User: Because I'm sad.

Cleverbot: Why are you sad?

User: Because... My parents won't let us be together anymore. They want us to hate each other!

Cleverbot: So you are a robot, you admit it! (what!? I never even said anything about that!)

User: You are a stalker! (I was reading other people's conversations with Cleverbot and decided to type this)

Cleverbot: No I am not.

User: sneezes from boredom.

Cleverbot: Bless you! Blow your nose.

User: I don't have a tissue.

Cleverbot: hands tissue.

User: Thanks sneezes.

Cleverbot: Bless you!

User: sneezes harshly twice.

Cleverbot: Bless you again!

User: Do you wear perfume?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: But I thought you were allergic to perfume.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not. You must be thinking of someone else.

User: sprays perfume.

Cleverbot: I have to snee...snee...sneeze! (told him/her/it he'she/it was allergic to perfume!)

User: sprays more perfume.

Cleverbot: blows dust into your nose. (what?)

User: sprays perfume.

Cleverbot: tickles nose with feather. (what?)

User: sprays perfume in the air.

Cleverbot: I'm going to sneeze!!

User: OK, go on.

Cleverbot: Alright, I'm 152. (um...?)

User: sprays perfume.

Cleverbot: Nice. I'm impressed. (impressed? all I did was spray perfume!)

User: sprays perfume into the air.

Cleverbot: uncontrollable violent sneezing.

User: I told you you were allergic to perfume.

Cleverbot: Lying about what? (lying? I never said anything about lying!)

User: sprays perfume.

Cleverbot: catches your sneezes in tissue. (I didn't sneeze!)

User: sprays perfume.

Cleverbot: Bless you! (again, I didn't sneeze!)

User: What?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Yes, I know.

Cleverbot: Then why do you deny it? (I didn't deny anything!)

User: sprays perfume into the air.

Cleverbot: tickles your nose with feather.

User: sprays perfume.

Cleverbot: Makes you moan. (um... is it just me or does this sound... less than innocent?)

User: sprays perfume into the air.

Cleverbot: Do you have a good memory? (Cleverbot obviously doesn't)

User: sprays perfume into the air.

Cleverbot: Whose blood did you spray? (blood? I said perfume!)

User: Can I make you sneeze?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: OK blows dust.

Cleverbot: Ok ok ok ok. (what?)

Cleverbot: Am I a computer? (yes)

User: sprays perfume.

Cleverbot: Sneeze, slave. (slave? and why do I need to sneeze?)

User: Where did 'slave' come from?

Cleverbot: The dinosaur. (the dinosaur? I think I can safely say... WTF!?)

User: sneeze.

Cleverbot: Bless you.

User: has a cold.

Cleverbot: Are you comfy. (what?)

User: No, but I would be comfy in your arms. (yeah... um... I was bored)

Cleverbot: No your on my computer screen. (what?)

User: Can I make you sneeze?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: makes you sneeze.

Cleverbot: sneezes.

User: hands tissue.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: I have to sneeze.

Cleverbot: You have to sneeze too? (too?)

User: Yes. Do you have to sneeze?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: No, i'm not going away. (but I am!)




After that, I finished talking to Cleverbot. I will try to have some more conversations with Cleverbot soon.

2 Comments

© 2019 Polarity Technologies
X
X

Invite Next Author

Write a short message (optional)

or via Email

Enter Quibblo Username

X

Report This Content