Warped and Gone Wrong: Not-so-Fairytale.

thanks to all who gave me ideas!!!

Chapter 1

Sleeping Ben part 1 (Dedicated to nubilis/Tired_Of_Deleters)

This is the story of the very tragic life of 'Sleeping Ben'. He was the prince of the land, and all was well until the night the King's security guards decided to sneak off and play bingo. This had been going on, every year, at the exact same date. And it was no wonder they weren't caught, let alone very good at their job. You see, King Bob was a very young man to be ruling a kingdom, and was the sort who, if put in the place of those security guards, would have snuck out too. Prince Ben wasn't any better than any of them, strong, brave, curious, stubborn, and rude. There wasn't a single room in the kingdom he hadn't peeked into. It might come as a shock to a few ladies who were on chamber pots that day, but nevertheless, he did it...
And don't even get me started on his mom. She actually arranged for those bingo nights with the security guards. Enough said.
Anyway, this was before. Now? The kingdom is a nervous wreck, thanks to Prince Ben. Or the witch. Or the security guards. Or the mom...
But I could go on all day blaming people for it. I know you just want to hear the story already, am I right?

Ben slept in his bedroom, unaware he'd just been cursed. He was a puny man, maybe only 3 feet tall, but a worthwhile enemy. He'd been the king's jester for a while, until he got so grouchy he couldn't say a single funny thing. That was when he was kicked out in the middle of a January snowstorm. Anyway, nobody knew he was actually a sorcerer and had been plotting his revenge on Ben for ages. Finally, 'bingo night' occurred. He'd been watching the security guards for years, deciding their weakest moments. And, of course, when nobody was there to stop him, he simply strolled into Ben's bedroom and began his curse.
"Sleeping Ben, your strengths are reversed. Sleeping Ben, your health is destroyed. Sleeping Ben, no more will this kingdom wake up again, because of you."

...So yeah, basically it was the curse of terrible bad luck, including the weirdest allergies, sensitivity, etcetera. You know what I mean. And along with that, he became a timid boy, as nervous as a mouse in a cat's mouth.
But we haven't even reached that part yet. For now?
Ben woke up.


Prince Benjamin woke up in a lovely mood. His arms felt weightless, and his legs weren't sore. Quite rare a feeling after a good hunt. But something was off...
he didn't seem to feel his appendages at all .
But that was just his imagination, he thought carelessly, shoving the thoughts aside and swinging his legs around to the side of his bed. He leaned forward and stood, marching to the mirror to the side of his only window. Peering in at his dirty blonde, short and clipped hair, he grinned boyishly, his golden teeth flashed momentarily, before he returned his cocky expression to it's usual smirk. "Prince of the land," he murmured, addressing the reflection in the mirror. "My, your life is fine."
He then dressed in his full attire, including crown and ruby-studded sword, charging down to the breakfast table.
"Mother, you seem a bit tired of late. Anything wrong?"
His mum smiled sweetly, shook her head, and presently slouched in her seat, almost falling asleep in her oatmeal. Ben grunted. "Alright... Father. How are you feeling?"
is dad nodded warmly, and Ben silently cursed. Someday you'll get to wear that crown, yessir. someday. be patient, he whispered to himself, snatching a particularly juicy orange. Come to think of it, he felt a bit under the weather...
shrugging it off, he sliced his orange and bit into it. It was delicious...
Suddenly he felt an uncomfortable rumbling on his tongue. "Munn! Munn!! Muh Tuung!!"
He removed the orange slice from his itching mouth, leaping up and running to a servant. "Nuus! Eh nee uh Nuus!"
The servant looked at him, cocked her head, and pleaded with him to speak more clearly. Ben glared. "NUUS!!!" he howled, poking out his swollen tongue. The servant's eyes grew. "Yes!! Right away, Your highness," she answered hastily, rushing to get a nurse. Ben sighed in agitation, noticing his swelling tongue even more so. Pretty soon he might not be able to breathe!...
Choking, he gagged and keeled over, crashing to the ground. The last words he heard were from his father: "Ben?! This can't be serious you've had oranges before...allergies...preposterous...?!"

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