How to annoy...

Chapter 2

Harry potter

Ask him to say hello to Cedric for you

Ask him who died and put him in charge.

Draw a scar on your forehead and say you are Harry Potter and he is an imposter

Tell him that Voldemort is his uncle.

Follow him around with a shirt that says 'I'm with the chosen one'

"So... first you were the Boy Who Lived.. then you were a nutcase... now you're The Chosen One. Why don't they just add it together so that you're the "Chosen Nutcase Who Lived?"

Slip him and Snape a love potion.

Slip him and Ron a love potion.

Start a rumor that he is gay.

Tackle him and say that you were under the influence of the Dark Lord.

Send him valentines. Every day. Make sure they are embarresing.

Knit him an embarresing sweater. Say it is a gift from Voldemort.

Constantly remind him that Neville should have been the Chosen One.

Offer him make-up to cover up the scar.

Tell him that Voldemort just needs a really big hug.

During the next Slytherin v Gryffindor quidditch match, jinx the snitch to fly away from him.

If you're really clever, jinx the snitch to fly right into Draco's hand.

Give him a mushy love note. Sign it with Ron's name.

Sing the 'Mysterious Ticking Noise" to him.

Tell him that you think that Snape and Lily would have made a cute couple.

Replace all of his writing equipment with those from Delores Umbrage's pencil case.

Hum the Harry Potter theme song whenever he enters the room.

Chain him and Snape together.

Put Crookshanks on your head and pretend to be Ginny.

Swap his Floo Power with gun powder.

Invite Gilderoy Lockheart to his house.

Bewitch all his robes to be Slytherin colors.

Make a cloud follow him everywhere, raining on him all the time.

Wink at him every time he looks at you.

Tell him you love Dementors.

Tell him that there was a mistake at the hospital and that Voldemort is his real father.

Refuse to let him through a door without him telling you his favourite colour.

If he asks where you're going, reply "Diagonally".

In the middle of a conversation, run off clutching your left arm and muttering something about how you have to see the Dark Lord.

Hide his glasses.

At Halloween, curse the bats to follow him everywhere.

Suggest Quirrel be made the new Head of Gryffindor.

Dye his hair blond.

Write him a three-hour lecture explaining why he will never be half the wizard that Draco is.

Make him sit through it.

Ask him for signed photos - constantly.

"Hermione told Ron to tell Ginny to tell Fred to tell George to tell Alicia to tell Cho to tell Luna to tell Neville to tell Professor Sprout to tell Professor McGonagall to tell Dumbledore... to tell Snape to tell Draco to tell Crabbe to tell Goyle to tell Pansy Parkinson to tell Moaning Myrtle to tell Nearly-Headless Nick to tell me to tell you that... um... actually, I can't remember."

Change the password to the Gryffindor common room.

Refuse to tell him what you changed it to.

Whenever he gets an idea, make a light appear above his head.

Critisize everything he does - especially when he's doing it right.

Be-dazzle his robes.

Tell him that if he dies defeating the Dark Lord, you want his broomstick.

Tell him that he should stop pretending to be Harry Potter and to wipe the fake scar off his head.

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