Test Run story-need your opinion!!

Ok, so I'm writing a new story. I won't be publishing it here because I don't want the whole thing stolen. But I'm posting this snid-bit of a potential chapter in the story. I'm seriously considering writing and publishing this story, so I need you guys' feed back!!!
So if you ever see anything like this in a book that the other's name is somewhere along the lines of "E.C. Thompson", that's me:)

Chapter 1

To the Woods

"what was your mother like, Dev?"
I glanced sideways at the gangly boy sitting next to me on a cracked stone bench, in the middle of dead silent wood. His eyes were brilliant blue, his hair a flashy blonde-brown. He looked right on back at me, studying me the same way I studied him. We sat in silence for a while, listening to the trees make a noise that could only be described as "Shimmer", while I contemplated his question. We sat stone, so still that birds could've landed on us, squirrels could have gnawed at our shoelaces.
"Everything I ever wanted to be. She was my rolemodel. She was everything. And more," I finally replied, not taking my eyes from his face. "I would never have met you without her, Cody. You're my best friend."
Cody smiled and turned his face toward the trees, the golden midday sunlight making it glow. The curve of his jaw, so gentle and boney, was beatiful. Just beautiful. Perfect? Of course not. But heart-breaking still.
It was another ten minutes before the silence was broken again. Something was flopping at the base of one of the trees, thrashing wildly. It appeared to be a bird, judging by all the twittering and tweeting. Cody sat forward, concerned, while I calmly got up and moved cautiously, noiselessly, over to it.
"Wait! Devany, if you touch it, its mother won't come back for it. They don't like human scent."
I ignored him, crouching down to uncover a small baby robin from the ground. Its wing was bent in an awkward position, clearly broken, and one black eye stared alarmingly at me as I turned it sideways to examine the rest of his body. Then I gentley, as if my hand were a feather, pressed my palm to the wreckage. I thought deeply of happy, hopeful, cheerful, saving thoughts. I thought hard and well on what made me content and mended, willing the bird to experience the same.
Within seconds, I felt the shattered wing begin putting itself back together, and within another few it had leapt from my hands and cut through the air to the lower branches of the trees. I smiled and watched him for a few seconds, wishing him to feel this free all his life. Then I made my way back to the source of all my happiness, thoughts, hopes. When I saw him squinting at me with a "How the hell did you do that?" amazed expression, I smirked. But then we both did something seemingly without thinking: Cody opened up his arms not for the first time, and for the first time, I climbed into them.
"I'm not human, remember? So that bird's safe. He'll be alright." And as though the truth of this statement made me realize how stupid I'd been not to know this by now, I finally spoke about myself truthfully. "I'll be alright."


© 2020 Polarity Technologies

Invite Next Author

Write a short message (optional)

or via Email

Enter Quibblo Username


Report This Content