"But I'm Not Lonely"

Let me know what you think! Criticism is appreciated and encouraged. Challenge me. I'm open for that, even if something as personal as emotions are.

Chapter 1

Poem

Heavy heart- Absent mind
I can't find the words to express
of how I feel like life is fading
while my thoughts torture me into distress.

I can't say it's because of stress
for I'm hitting those curve balls I swear
and I can't say it's because of a deep-rooted sense of loneliness
because I promised myself that I don't need anyone that makes me a pair.

But then-
Then I can't help but think of his complex eyes
or of his lush lips that curl into a smirk
and how all of that baffles me into desires that are lies.

For I imagine what it must be like
to have his arms wrap around my waist
while his mouth rests near my ear
only to whisper sweet words that have all pain become erased

and just before he then leans down closer
planting a trail of kisses to follow
because what he and I could have would be magical
and it would fill whatever has made us hollow.

But I'm not lonely
I mean- I can't be when that can't be true
because he's out of this world in terms of beauty
and I'm just stuck here hoping for some sort of breakthrough.

He's a ten- I'm a five
He's grounded in his place- I'm caught somewhere between my heart and my head;
he's what life is
while I'm near dead.

And yet I can't help but yearn for him
in hopes to end the pain I've ignored
because though he's a dream and I'm a nightmare
I'm ready to cherish and in return be adored.

But I'm not lonely
because I don't need someone to make me whole.
But I am at the same time
because there's this desire of belonging that's really starting to take it's toll.

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